15 Weeks Out | Anime Central 2013

My cutie (as Fix-It Felix of Wreck-It Ralph) got to meet Super Mario Brothers' Bowser!

I have a confession to make: I miss Anime Central!

Real Life: A break from Con?!

A fellow con-goer said it best. He pretty much insinuated that real life is just one long boring break in between conventions. Hahaha. It's too drab - compared to the weekend of fun, friends, and cosplay!

For those not in the know, Anime Central is a HUGE annual Midwest Anime/Japanese Culture convention hosted in Rosemont, IL. Think - anime films, TV series like Pokemon, Naruto, Bleach, Full Metal Alchemist (I'm just naming the popular ones) as well as video games like Street Fighter, Mortal Kombat, and other popular video games. Lots of artists gather at the Lobby and have their own stands to sell unique creations such as art, prints, handmade goods, bags, trinkets, etc. Think schoolgirls, cutesy cartoons, Domo, you name it! Steampunk, World of Warcraft, League of Legends, Devil May Cry, Final Fantasy, etc. I could go on. Us comic book lovers went as well and made our appearances.

One of many impromptu Marvel photoshoots. Who knew posing would be so tiring?

It's not just Chicago people that go - hell, I've met people from New York who've come just to be at the con! It's the entire Midwest.

People are almost always very friendly! There is a kind of unity & comaraderie among the sea of nerds & enthusiasts that jam-packs the streets and the Donald E. Stephens Convention Center and all adjacent hotels.

The best thing (in my opinion) about ACen? You can be a little kid, and it's okay! Everyone else is on the same boat as you!

EXAMPLE: You could have a lifelong dream of wanting to meet Superman [just an example] and YOU WILL MEET SUPERMAN! And even better? If you have a lifelong dream of BECOMING Superman, you can BECOME Superman! AND OTHER PEOPLE WILL ACKNOWLEDGE YOU AS SUPERMAN!

I know I've probably said it before, but my best friend and I have made it a sort of annual tradition to go. We book a hotel room for the whole weekend, gather roomies, and treat it like one big mini-vacation.
And to think that I'm more comic book/games/fantasy-focused, as opposed to anime-focused.. this makes me a MILLION times more excited for Wizard World (Chicago Comic-Con, which I've never been to yet) this August! AIEEE!!!


Feels Good To Be "The Bad Guy"-?!

I went as a female version of Loki (see Marvel's Thor & The Avengers, both comic book series and films). Now I've cosplayed before in the past, but never as involved as I was this weekend.

In the past, I've cosplayed but never really BUILT or MADE any part of it until this year. This was my first year really feeling the excitement of a home-made cosplay. My sister made the corset, while I made the helm, and my boyfriend & I collaborated on the scepter: he constructed, I designed and detailed.

I have to really say, I REALLY owned being Loki. Not only did I feel super proud of how the cosplay came out, but I felt AMAZING. I was so relieved and thankful - to myself - that I decided to start getting serious about working out & really honing down my personal nutrition. I started really dealing with weights last year, but wasn't really serious about anything else, and my diet was horrendous. I didn't feel too confident back then either.

 Left: Blondie cosplay (Sucker Punch), 2012. Right: Loki cosplay (Marvel), 2013.

It may or may not be apparent in the comparison photos, but last year I was definitely 8-10 pounds heavier and not as healthy or strong. I liked my cosplay, however I didn't own it like I owned the Loki this year.

This year, this time around, a lot of people wanted pictures: and I mean, A LOT. While there was no official Marvel photoshoot, where ever I gathered with fellow Marvel/Avengers cosplayers, a group would gather for pictures, then it would grow like bacteria dividing. Everyone was super nice and excited to take pictures, and to be honest I felt pretty special!

I should have practiced posing though because I was NOT prepared, and I most likely looked very awkward for half of my shoots.

But here are some good ones that other people took that actually turned out amazing (in my opinion):

With my FFFL (Friend For F**king Life) as The Warden from Superjail 

This Thor told me "I need a picture with my sister!"

Stuttgart Loki and Lady Loki meet!

If you guys want to see the rest of the ACen pictures my friends and I took, head on over to my Facebook - I made the album public for viewing and tagging. :-)

No Excuses Though

Amidst the cosplay, fun, friends, and lots of alcohol and bad food (ie. half of a Baker's Square banana cream pie right before bed at 2 AM) on the premises, I made it a priority to get my exercise in during the weekend. While I prepared for the whole week to be able to do this, I still made sure that I was keeping my priorities and goals for contest preparation in mind.

Friday morning? I did back and shoulders/arms:

The nerd girl in her natural (other) habitat

And Saturday morning? A fasted session of HIIT on the cross-trainer, with a 20-minute break in the upper-level pool of the Hilton, followed by a leg/glute session in the weight area!

First bathing suit picture I don't cringe over! That's gotta say something right?!

I gotta say this though - that pool, that morning spending 20-30 minutes allowing the sunlight to filter through that 10th floor skylight and onto me as I float mindlessly around - that was probably the highlight of my entire weekend. Peace, serenity, just... enjoying life. And not worrying about how ugly I must have looked. Not a bother was given.

Progress Is Progress

Even though there are plenty of days I don't feel like I'm making progress, and there are still moments where I doubt the significance of what I'm doing.. the fact that I have more bounce in my step, the fact that I'm even taking a picture of me in my new bathing suit and posting it on my very public blog, the fact that I walked all weekend with my head high and a gleaming smile on my face (except when in character, of course).. really speaks for itself.

I always used to feel down about myself. Always putting myself down because others did, and believing the negative things that were said about me. But this fitness journey isn't just about aesthetics or fitting into the prettiest things.

I'm not even at that competition body yet. I don't know how well I'll do, or how difficult it's going to be. I still don't have anywhere near the perfect proportions of a woman, nor do I think I ever will.

For me, just getting to enjoy life is what makes it all worth it. The true me can be liberated, and unhindered by bad self-esteem. Those worrisome things - while still lurking around - are no longer the forefront of my thoughts. They no longer take the wheel and dictate my emotions. I can laugh louder now. I can smile more. I can enjoy every day and look forward to new beginnings, and never have to look to others for validation or self-worth ever again.

All because I'm pushing myself everyday, meeting small goals day by day, working hard not really for an end but for the sake of working hard itself.

To be honest, while this is all new to me, I'm loving it, and that's why I'm going to keep going.

Sorry for the late post!

16 Weeks Out | ACen Weekend

Sorry I've been MIA. Again.

Since 5/12 I've been 16 weeks out from the 2013 INBA. That's 4 months tops to get in tip-top stage competition amazing diva shape. No pressure at all, right?

This week is also Anime Central 2013 Week. Yes, it is finally upon us this year. What debauchery I'm to witness this time around is beyond me. I personally just like to enjoy myself, not do dumb shit. Last year, I unfortunately got food poisoning from some bad bar food so I was sick for the entire weekend.

Now, I'm gonna be prepared... so f**k getting sick, screw having a nasty stomach flu & pains. I'm WAY PREPPED.

I wrote up my prep this Sunday in my physical fitness journal.

I'm more prepped for prep than I am for the actual convention. That's how much fitness has taken over my life. I'm still not done with my cosplay - I need to think about whether a cape is a good idea for my costume or not. I have to add finishing touches to my horns, and I have to find a way to make a Glowstick of Destiny in less than 2 days. Again, no pressure at all. #nerdyproblems

But, in preparation for a weekend of food, drink, and merry, I've come up with a great plan that not only prevents sabotage of my fitness goals and contest prep goals, but also allows me to enjoy this weekend freely.


The Plan

The plan is quite simple, actually. The precise details of it are adaptable to prevent further stress, but some things are definitely concrete:

-Carb back-loading will definitely and unquestionably be taking place, for the 3 days in a row I'm going to be spending parading around as a bad guy with horns.

-I'm moving the majority of my exercises during this convention/mini-vacay so that carb back-loading indeed works out just as I intend it to. I can work out first thing in the morning, or in the afternoon. Thank goodness the hotel we're staying at has a fully-equipped gym. Do HIIT, get some hypertrophy in, lift heavy, and I'll be good.

-I will not count calories, and I will continue not to eat breakfast, but I will take care to consume enough protein for each day. Definitely coffee to fuel me throughout the day (although the excitement alone is enough).

-I will enjoy a few drinks each night and not worry about drinking too much. I don't like getting sick, anyway, but I won't worry about this in regards to my contest prep. (Per Kiefer, consuming alcohol at night for women, post-backload, actually helps them with fat loss, for some crazy, awesome reason.. so go me).

-I'm taking the majority of my ULC days during the week to deplete my glycogen reserves appropriately for the weekend. My lighter exercise days & cardio workouts, I'm going to complete during the week as well.

-Most importantly, I will have a good time and be stress-free. This unfortunately is a bulletpoint, because I am that one idiot that will try to overcomplicate a good time because, for some retarded reason, I subconsciously feel I'm not worthy of fun time.

NO. I NEED this weekend. Especially with the clusterf*ck that was last weekend... I need this.


There's Still Room For Life

And this is how I will attempt to prevent fat gain and muscle catabolism during contest prep, and ACen weekend, and just have this all work in my favor.

I seriously need the fun. Don't listen to me when I say I don't, I desperately need it. My head has been through all kinds of dryer and blender settings these past few weeks. If that didn't make sense, I'm sorry.

So freaking out of it, and desperately need to unwind finally.

My best friend is taking me to see In Flames in concert this Thursday, as a pre-celebration. And we are going to be hosting a barbecue for post-convention weekend.. mostly because post-con weekend is so depressing and sad, since everybody realizes they have to return to the drudgery of real life. Instead, we're going to have a good time.

As always I will keep all of you updated along the way. I may not post during the weekend, but I will definitely take lots of pictures. :-)

Just A Silly Rant

Bret Contreras, whom you all know by now is one of my favorite fitness people in the industry, highly recommends strength training of the lower body region for women for strength, aesthetics, weight loss, and overall well-being. Just Google him, and you'll see that a lot of the women he trains not only are in fantastic shape, but they're strong and confident because of that fact. Hell, look up Jim Laird too.. he makes a living getting women in the best shape of their lives, too.

We're women. Most of us females want to look good. Big, small, tall, short, black, white - whatever. I do not believe there is one universal criteria for beauty, for beauty literally comes in many forms.

And one of the most important contributors to everyone's individual beauty is not a pretty face or a perfect body - but a strong sense of self, and love.


Stop Being Afraid.. Just Do Something

This is why I strongly believe in strength training. But women are so misinformed about weights, and the effect lifting them can have on their bodies. You can either go one of - well, many ways - but I will use 2 extreme opposites as an example of how weight training can change a woman's body:

  

I highly respect all figure & bodybuilding athletes, as should you. Both types of physiques take a great amount of dedication and discipline to achieve.

But, as per my goals, I am training my lower body for maximum growth, improved shape, and definition. I'm going for more of the latter-group photo physique. To each their own, right? This, though, by no means "easier".. or even "easy" - since my body, as well as many other women's bodies, was not genetically pre-packaged this way. Like I've mentioned before, most of my body accumulates fat in the upper body (except the frontal region...) and my hips aren't typically female-wide. If I let go - and I have, in the past - I REALLY look like I let go.

Neither one of these figures can be obtained by running hours and hours a day, eating only yogurt and crackers and low-fat foods, and complaining. That is a nutrition plan for surefire fat gain and metabolic disaster. They were acquired by eating lots of protein and good fats to help the body run efficiently. I don't know about the Reef girls, but I would be willing to bet that carb manipulation throughout the weeks mostly had a part in shaping these bodies.


YOU Are In Charge

One point I've been wanting to get across is that strength training will get you the results you're after, and that it takes serious hard work and patience (lots of it) to get to those results.

It will NOT immediately give you a bodybuilding woman's physique - because if it was that easy, do you really think people would be competing for all the NOT-hard-work that they did to get on the stage?

Inversely, getting a shapely bikini body that screams strength (see Reef Girls above) doesn't mean that those particular women didn't need to work just as hard as the bodybuilding lady to get that way.. if they didn't, I think a LOT more of us would have bikini bodies (and that statement speaks for itself, just look around). You can take a supermodel or "sexy person" that society would unanimously agree is sexy - but make her compete in a bikini fit/figure competition, and watch the judges not place her at all if she didn't do a single ounce of work.

Hard work is a reward in and of itself. You work hard to get what you really want, and in turn the practice of hard work gives you more than the thing you wanted - and that is the satisfaction of being a hard worker and being a strong, capable human being.

YOU are in charge of YOU - not your genes, not your appetite. I had to learn this the hard, hard way. Sure, we can blame genetics for so-and-so, but we can do something about it. You can blame this guy and that person and your mom/dad/roommate/whatever for giving you bad self esteem - but try doing something you're good at, and watch the validity of their opinions suddenly dissipate into obscurity. You can replace that 3-hour daily TV session with a walk in the park, or some yoga, or even the gym.  You can stop eating and relying on processed garbage or low-fat garbage for food. Or, just eat cleaner, made-from-scratch garbage like I do, and hell - WORK OUT, so that "garbage" actually warrants a beneficial purpose in your body - giving you muscle - instead of giving you another reason (ie. 5 extra pounds of fat) to complain about your body.

If you didn't have confidence to begin with, you can be sure that doing these things, and doing them consistently, will give you something to be confident about. And a reason to keep going and not give up.


Trust Me, I Sucked Once

These very words are being spouted by someone who comes from a deep, dark place of absolutely no self-confidence. I hated myself, absolutely loathed my own skin, so I am speaking from a very personal place.. and now, I really don't want to be anybody BUT myself.

I think this whole post is just me ranting, and for that I apologize.

I'm nowhere near perfect, and I never will be. I still have to remind myself these things. I still have to give myself pep talks - and at times, talk myself out of saying or doing stupid things that will erode at my personal & emotional progress. But I'm trying and that's more valuable than just complaining.


Pick Up That Barbell & Lift It

But, in all honesty, I really wouldn't be where I am today if I didn't decide to get strong and kill it in the gym everyday in that weight room. Not only do I not feel like a disgusting blob anymore, but I feel more empowered than I ever have in my entire life.

For one, I no longer rely on clothing to create more eye-pleasing illusions on my body (ie. tucking that gut, or shrinking a certain area) - and at the same time, it has liberated me from making bad clothing choices based on HIDING my frame. I'm no longer as afraid of shopping as I once was. And even though it was nerve-wracking as hell, I went bikini shopping for the first time two days ago - and now I'm excited for the summer, instead of dreading that other people will be looking good in their bikinis, and I'll be sitting in the shade in my XXXL t-shirt, wallowing in self-pity.

I also no longer feed into people's silly garbage when it comes to their opinions of me. Just last week, someone (whom I shall not name here) told me that I looked really bad and too skinny from "dieting too much" and that I give people the impression that I'm sick and unhealthy. Um, what? Not only was that an ignorant comment, but, since it came from that certain person - the same person who always used to tell me how fat and/or ugly I was - and the fact that the person NOTICED that my body was changing - I just took it as, I'm doing something right. I'm changing. What I've been doing is actually effective. And if I really did look sickly and anorexic, like this person insinuated, I think my friends would have intervened by now - and come over to my house with a "recovery" support group, and lots of freaking cake and chocolate and chicken wings just to feed me. If they did, I'd be eating until I passed out.

I feel more confident as a mother too. I am making such healthy and good choices in life that I am proud of embodying for my son to see. I love the fact that I am raising him in such an environment, and I believe mothers really need to take care of themselves more. I don't think kids like it when they see their moms burned out, or depressed, or even hating themselves. Families are much happier with happy, healthy parents. This is something my ex doesn't understand to this day.

I'm still a bit jealous of other girls - and I think that will always be ingrained in me, no thanks to the aformentioned person who said I looked sicky - but I now, I feel as if I at least have some ammo of my own. If the other girls are fully-loaded guns with all the gadgets and accessories, then in comparison, I no longer feel like an empty, useless chamber. Not sure if that makes sense, but that's the best way I can describe it without saying that I can hold my own now. I'm no longer just on the bench, wishing I was confident like them. In a non-cocky manner, I believe in myself and that I have worth - even though there are days I don't believe this.

My journey is still early, and at its baby stages - but I am getting there. I am slowly climbing my way up.

And you can too.

daySEVEN | May 3dP

Day seven. Lucky number seven. It was quite a dream day! Such that it deserves a post. Where do I start?

CBL Status Update

I weighed myself after training to see where I was at. I know that I'm not relying on solely the scale to monitor progress, but I cringed, knowing that the night before, my boyfriend and I came home from the local Mexican restaurant carrying food

babies, and passing out shortly after. I also drank about a gallon of water during the first half of the day.

Stepped on the scale and.... 118.2? YES!!

That's AFTER back-loading mucho the night before and drinking lots of water.. AND I'm at that time of the month where women's weight is usually at their all-time high from bloat!

I've also been eating much more with my back-loads. Delicious, dirty carbs.. and some clean, nutritious carbs too!

I've been slowly - but surely- fine-tuning my daily intake so I find things that fit exactly my macros, to have the whole diet work in my favor. It's making me quite happy how everything just.. fits. More of my actual food to be detailed in a post dedicated solely to contest prep.


Training

It was leg day #1. I usually do 2 every week, but #1 is heavy duty - which means all out - heavy load, explosive lifts. No HIIT, pure hypertrophy, all strength. If I'm not still sore in a few days, I will have leg day #2. But I'm not sure that this week will have a #2..

Due to the little mishap I experienced on Thursday, I decided to be much more cautious of my every move. The following were my exercises for daySEVEN, all preceded by warmup sets (with the exception of hip thrusts):

Barbell squat - 45-2x10 (warmup); 65x10, 55x10*
Lying leg press - 2x10 warmup close & wide stances; 2-50x12 wide, 2-50x12 close
Smith machine lunges - 45x10 (warmup); 65x10, 75x10, 75x12
Barbell hip thrusts - 3-50x12 with 5-second isometric holds per last rep
Seated hip abduction - 50x10, 40x12
10-minute incline walk @ 6.0%, 2.8mph

*Notes: I can still feel my right glute muscle being pulled - but only when I do squats. This means I will only be squatting once a week, at half my max, until that sensation completely goes away.
Notice that my weights were reduced by about 20-30%, for all sets. This is due to the right glute problem. Fortunately, that problem did not occur for the other workouts.

I also began doing lunges again - and I haven't mentioned it before, but boy do I hate lunges. Walking, static, reverse.. I hate them all. I always feel out of balance. Which is exactly why I did them. The final set, I was only going to do 10 reps, but mentally I pushed myself to do 2 extra reps. "Jen, you need that growth," I told myself. Not sure if it was in my head, or if I really did say it - since the guy next to me was giving me a strange look. He needed to work anyway, he was just sitting there like a douche hogging a station - because that's exactly what he was doing.

Glutes get worked on both days as well, and glutes also get worked on deadlift days, for a total of 3 glute resistance days - in addition to the lower body plyo/Tabata circuits I sprinkle on non-lower-body-resistance days of the week. Hence the hip thrusts and abductions. It's the biggest muscle in the body, and when it gets work, calories are definitely burned.


Amazing Day!

It was overall a great day. I had a wonderful evening with my precious son. He got to play with his friends, and he even brought some over to play. He picked up all of the toys they used afterward, AND ate all of his dinner with me - including his green beans. He got an eclair and a story as a reward! It was a really good Mom and Kaeden day :)

As for post-workout, I've discovered the best way to have my post-workout protein is in fluff form. See proteinpow.com for a plethora of delicious protein powder recipes! My post-workout CBL shake is 24grams of vanilla whey, 1 frozen sliced banana, and 1/4 cup of milk of my choosing, 5g creatine powder - and that's it. Blend it, whisk it up until it becomes fluffy - and it's super, duper tasty. I'm not even kidding. I get really sad when I finish it all. Great for protein content, and that insulin spike much needed for CBL to work. It also fits my macros perfectly.

I had medium grain calrose white rice, and tilapia & green beans sauteed in coconut oil, for dinner. It was a pretty clean back-load, which made me happy. Not to mention coconut oil makes everything taste ten times more delicious. Good thing for my clean dinner, because I had room to stuff 5 apricot kolacky's, 3, some Cadbury chocolate caramel squares, and my half-cup of Ben & Jerry's Chunky Monkey Ice Cream pre-bed. My body temperature was up the roof by the end of the night - and I gloriously went into a carb-induced coma shortly after.


All In All..

Is it really a coincidence that carb back-loading is making me lose weight, feel happy about my food choices (and life in general), and have me improve my physique all at the same time?

The inner skeptic in me keeps trying to say so, but I gotta say, I really love carb back-loading. And I love working out regularly. I love making healthier and wiser choices in general. I'm enjoying life and I really don't need a weekend party or a night of clubbing to do that for me.

I feel so perky lately, and greet each day with enthusiasm. Maybe I could do this for the rest of my life. Have my Ben & Jerry's and pastrys, and bacon, and still get lean & strong and be able to prep for competition? I think I just will.

All in all, daySEVEN was a success.

daySIX | May 3dp - Progress Pictures

**Warning Ahead: Progress pictures. May not be SFW.**

I haven't had carbs in about 3 days and I gotta say, I'm feeling really loopy. I wonder, for those who are doing similar things as I am, if they get carb-depletion-induced dreams/nightmares? Because my dream last night was super messed-up. Zombie apocalypses and exes and seedy teachers and so much debauchery on top of the flesh consumption.. Eek!

For this post, I will be presenting some photographic evidence to document my fitness journey. Be warned.

This blog wouldn't really be as informative as it could be, without progress pictures to back up every statement I make on this blog. However, I am also worried about posting them, lest I offend someone. I'm still going to post some anyway. I need to document these changes as they take place. They are the best way, so far, to document progress - otherwise, I would have still believed my body hasn't changed a bit from last year. That's how crazy I am.

The following set of photographs is to show progress from the front view, 4 months apart:

This first set is from January - when I began heavy lifting again, and used clean eating as my nutritional protocol:

This second set (below) is what my physique looked like on dayFOUR of the May 30dayPUSH - so this past Saturday:

I am biased and am pretty sure I don't see my body very objectively - but the changes fluctuate the most on my midsection. The reason you can see obliques in the picture from Saturday is because Saturdays are when I seem to look the leanest and the best (I blame it on being able to sleep in Friday night). Thank God the competition is on a Saturday. But the rest of the week, I could easily look like the January picture. I still have a lot of lower abdominal skin and fat flab from the C-section performed almost 5 years ago.

As for everywhere else, my back has shown significant improvement since I started becoming dedicated to fitness and nutrition. It carried many, many rolls - I'm not even sure myself how I hid them under clothes, but I did. I had no real "shape" - and now I definitely have a waist:

<I will insert the image once I log in to my account from home>

The changes may be slow, and I may get frustrated often that fat loss for me is next-to-impossible, but these pictures are screaming otherwise. At least, I'm supposed to say they are. Everyone is telling me I'm progressing. The numbers, the scale, the measurements, my moods - there is progress. I'm just not content, just yet.

Here's a final comparison, with the most convenient pictures I can find as of now. I shall post some better ones as I find them.

January-February progress, lateral views.

123.8 lbs, 23.7% Body Fat.

Four months later, these are my current results.

~119-121 lb, 19% Body Fat.

(Numbers were as of March, will have to get re-measured again).

Busy, Busy Weekend

Well, I have very good news.

I wasn't as hurt as I thought I was. I've pulled a muscle in my chest worse than the way I pulled my right glute muscle last week. It took me 3 weeks to recover from overtraining my chest, all that time ago. Today, I feel no pain whatsoever on my cheek. Ha.

The day after the "injury" - which was Thursday - I had a dear friend of mine give me a deep-tissue massage in the problem area. It was really an excuse to hang out with her and catch up, but she did a really good job of alleviating the pain and loosening up all my tightened muscles. Ladies and gents, if you're in the Chicago/Oak Park/River Forest area, give Lily Vrsek a call for your own massage appointment. She does very good work.

The little mishap taught me to be much more cautious, though. And relax a little more. I always have to remind myself to be patient, consistent, and just relax - simply because I really don't know how. I can't do it automatically. That's probably why I have a problem doing yoga for over half an hour, I am so impatient and way too energetic for my own good.


dayTWO

Thursday (which was dayTWO of the 30dayPUSH) I had Venezuelan food with Lily. We're both absolute foodies. I didn't even care what I consumed - it was all delicious. And, for the first time in a very long time, I was seeing food for its delicious, culinary worth, instead of seeing carbs, protein, and fats. We had arripas with various fillings, chocolate cakey-dessert thingies, avocado salad, and sweet cinnamon rice pudding. I even had some sweet red wine. When I got home, I had a Smore Poptart and some Ben & Jerry's Chunky Monkey.

Yes, it was all delicious, and a very good day, with great company and relaxation.

Just one of the many things I love about Carb Back-Loading: That all of the above was not only totally possible, but also guilt-free and way, way enjoyable. I need days like that during this prep.


dayTHREE

The next day - Friday, dayTHREE - I planned to do an ultra-low-carb day but flunked. I had to use up my lunch break to go to the DMV and purchase a Photo ID. My license got "held for bond" when I got pulled over the night I hung out with Lil, for a busted headlight. And my insurance card was expired. I have to show up to court in a month to show them my updated insurance card, then I'll get my license back. I needed the photo identification ESPECIALLY this month - what, with my sister's 21st birthday coming up, Anime Central 2013 next week (HOLY SH*T), and plenty of other outings.

That evening, my sister and I went out to do some browsing and shopping. I was attempting to add some more color to my dismal, almost-all-black wardrobe. I felt guilty spending money on myself, but then again, I really need to slowly replace my entire wardrobe due to my changing body, and the fact that those clothes simply just don't fit anymore.

I actually like what I came home with. I also learned that I don't know how to shop for nice, subtle colors - these all scream, LOOK AT ME. Jeez.. and yet I'm so introverted. It makes no sense.


Cosplay Time

And speaking of ACen, I am nervous and excited at the same time. It's going to be on May-17-19, so just one week away. Deeeeep breath. I just ordered Kaeden's and my badges last night. I have to make a list of things to pack, as if I was going away on vacation. Well, it is like a vacation. Just with swords, bad guys, debauchery (possibly? not from me, though) and crazy outfits.

Just to be clear, too. I plan on having carbs all weekend. I also plan to drink in moderation. But I'll be damned if I skip a day of working out - I am still going to get my workouts in. Thank goodness for hotel gyms.

Look at my big and mighty horns...

If I didn't mention it here, I will now: I am appearing as Lady Loki at this year's convention. Loki, as portrayed by Tom Hiddleston, really captivates me. It definitely has a lot to do with the actor himself. I don't even know where to start with him - the way he is so well-spoken, the intelligence, that voice, the way he portrays evil with a sympathetic touch (well, maybe except for in The Avengers, maybe)- ugh. Weird, nerdy, intellectual crush.

Man, I need a rock & roll security escort group like this guy.

I've pretty much just improvised and adapted the movie costume to a feminine way for myself. My sister has designed & sewn me a badass Loki corset that I cannot wait to wear. I have a scepter to try and sculpt in the next 10 days, as well as other accessories to gather for the costume. Eep!

Cosplay & fantasy dress up is, admittedly, one of my favorite hobbies. It might seem childish to some, but screw them. I love feeling like a superhero. I like feeling and looking badass. It breaks up the monotony of the propriety we all have to maintain in everyday life.

I still plan to make a Xena costume - but I know that is going to take 300 times the effort I'm putting into this Lady Loki cosplay.


I will be very busy this month, but I will still do my best to update this blog. And don't worry, I'm still very much working hard towards the 2013 INBA Pro/AM Natural Universe.. but the details for that, I will have to expand on in a different post. I have many notes on the coming prep weeks that I need to sort out. 17 weeks seems long, but to me, it's short and rather scary.

dayONE | May 3dP - Aaand I'm Injured!

All I can say right now is f**k.

It is a new month, and I love new beginnings. I love fresh starts. I'm very excited to hit new goals this month and push my body further.

HOWEVER....

Yesterday afternoon was my designated deadlift day. I know "deadlift" is not a body part, but an exercise... but I usually dedicate a whole training session on just that movement (with light chest & glute accessory work) because the deadlift is such a taxing compound exercise. Everything, just about everything in your body, gets engaged.

Obviously, this is not me.

There are several variations of the deadlift, but let's just talk about standard ones. You are picking up dead weight off the floor, with proper technique and form. Sounds easy, but the form has to be right, every time - otherwise, you're not working anything.

A chick doing deadlifts: More fitting for the blog.

The following were the deadlifts I performed (so glad I started recording my workouts and numbers again). As you will notice, the sets/reps are irregular, as my focus was to lift HEAVY and properly enough to feel the burn in all the appropriate areas:

 - Sumo deadlift: 2-100x10, 1-100x7
 - Stiff-legged deadlift: 2-80x6

By the time I was done with these, my forearms were on fire, and my palms were beginning to develop some more new calluses. I was shaky from all that weight pulled. Keep in mind I am ~120lb, 5 feet tall. A 100lb barbell on the ground is gonna be pretty taxing.

But, for some reason, I thought I was able to handle some more work. Like I mentioned, I usually sprinkle my deadlift days with accessory glute and chest work. I saw a squat rack open - which is kinda rare, because it's always being hogged, either by dudes who like to rest after sets for WAY TOO LONG, or worse - BICEP-CURLERS. In the squat rack. Need I say more.


So I Messed Up.. Big Time

I tried warming up with a set of barbell squats. I must have looked at the wrong number, or totally had a glycogen-depleted-state-of-mind-hazy-brain moment because now, looking back on it - insert moment of clarity here, what I did was not a warm-up at all. I ended up using 2-25 lb. plates, which made the "warm-up" set 95, which is my current NEW PR (not my 1RM or 1-rep max though).

Well, a few reps passed, and on one of the bottom movements, moving back up, I felt it: surge of heat, and a most unusual pulling sensation, on my right gluteal muscle. Great.

I must admit, I should have been paying more attention to the plates used. A PROPER WARMUP would have eliminated this problem - but I messed it up, completely. I was dizzy, shaky from deadlifting, and definitely felt like I wiped my glycogen by that point. I did not pay attention - big mistake when working under heavy load.

It didn't feel completely painful, necessarily - but there was a discomfort there that definitely could not be ignored. I tried squatting with just the bar (45lb), which did not seem heavy at all (anymore), but the movement was still very much awkward and uncomfortable. I stretched then left the gym.

Talk about a literal pain in the ass.


Necessary Deload

Now, because of my mistake, I will be sitting out of lower-body exercises until that muscle heals. I don't really know how to tell for sure if it is healed completely, since I'm not feeling a ton of pain at the moment, but I really do not want to take any chances. I'd like to keep lifting for a very, very long time, and I would even like to get into competitive powerlifting someday - once I have the means for a proper coach.

My stubborn ass was supposed to take a deload week this week too. Which means, light to no lifting, bodyweight exercises only, and an off-cycle from HIIT workouts. But - and I'm not the only one out there who feels this way - a deload makes one feel crazy. Not working out so much, not being active as much.. it makes you feel like, for some reason, that it is going to lead to a rebound into the sedentary lifestyle again. I already had to take a break from exercise last year due to a surgery, and because of that I fell off the wagon and became horribly inconsistent. I hate starting from scratch, especially since now I know just what my body is capable of.

But I suppose deload weeks are necessary. And they are. My body knew it too, I just didn't listen to it like a total hard-headed moron.

I PROMISE, PROMISE PROMISE (mostly to myself) that once I'm healed, I'm going to go back. I'm NOT turning back, but I'm going to kick some more ass...

...More carefully this time around, of course.

I had to buy a clay hot/cold compress, and now I'm pretty much "icing" my right cheek. Hooray.


And I'm Back To Carb Nite

I've been enjoying Carb Back-Loading these past few weeks now, and I was definitely reaping the benefits. I didn't notice too much fat loss (if at all) but I have really been enjoying seeing my muscles grow, pop & make me look absolutely athletic and pumped:

NO flexing required. CBL makes me look very defined!

Now, due to necessary rest and recovery, and a decrease in volume in my workouts, I have to slide back into Carb Nite again to prevent myself from sabotaging my current progress. Besides, I need some accelerated fat loss for competition anyway. I will not induce metabolic damage by putting myself in a ridiculous caloric deficit. I will eat my protein and fats accordingly, and have my one night a week of carb-binging. Which I'll never complain about - until of course, the night of, but that's because - at that point - I'm so stuffed with sugar and carbs that I'm gonna pop.

I will have to live with the fact that - due to lower frequency of carb refeeds - I will not be looking as muscular as the pictures above show, but will be looking more "flat" - which is typical for users of Carb Nite. The following feedback from a fellow forum user to another user (one who got injured) at DangerouslyHardcore.com makes me feel a little better about the whole ordeal:

"My advice would be to do CNS and don't stress so much about losing muscle. There is such thing as muscle memory, and if I were you I'd concentrate on getting as lean as possible which will put you in a nice zone to make gains once you go CBL. Just make sure you don't skimp on the fat, and I don't think you can lose too much muscle in so little time. Beware though, you'll look a lot flatter which in no way indicates muscle loss, but that's what happens when you drop the carbs."

This pretty much sums up what I'm going to be doing from this point forth.


May Plan

From here on out, I will do another 10-day recalibrating phase, so my next Carb Nite will officially be on dayELEVEN of the 30dayPUSH: May 11. It will also be my sister's birthday and a concert night with my boyfriend, so I suppose this all timed out perfectly. My Carb Nites will be on Saturdays from now until I get to my goal body. This all conveniently works out.

In the meantime, I will try to only do yoga (lots of it), some ab work, upper body resistance, and walks. I will upgrade to some circuit/cardio work as the weeks go by. I won't be hitting the weights as hard, until I am confident I can work out again without getting injured again.

Goal this May? Carb Nite, Rest, recover, lose fat, get into bikini ready shape in time for summer!


And a Hint Of Advice..

Coming from someone who just learned the dumb, hard way:

REST.

Take time off.

LISTEN TO YOUR BODY, LITERALLY.

..Or else it's going to do what it wants and make you listen to it.