10 Weeks Out | A Rough Climb.



I started vlogging my journey to the stage, click to watch!

 I messed up this weekend. I am not very proud of it but it's the truth. I ended up eating a lot of carbs on Friday night, after coming home from hanging out with friends. I managed to keep my calories below maintenance on Saturday, but I ended up eating out again to catch up with my best friend, who has been out-of-town for over 2 weeks. Sunday, I kept it ultra-low carb, but ended up eating out again for all of my meals so I really couldn't track my caloric intake.

At least on Sunday I committed to going to the gym first thing in the morning - after my coffee, of course - to spend 30 minutes on the treadmill. In between that, I did my 6 HIIT cycles. That I am proud to say I did.
I can't let people sway me anymore into going off-track. So far, no one understands the importance of what I'm doing, and I'm not expecting them to. I didn't want to eat out on Saturday, nor did I want to eat our on Sunday either. I like feeling comfortable being able to track my caloric intake, because I know I will eat at maintenance or above levels if I leave it to my body to decide my satiety. I love my friends, but I cannot keep doing this.

I am 10 weeks out and luckily, I am seeing some positive changes. Little, slow, but progress nonetheless.


Training Tweaks

For one, I'm only going to aim for 1 actual rest day per week. I need to be doing some form of HIIT cardio at least 4-5x/week. NO STEADY STATE. A no-lifting day can easily be a cardio day.

I will train upper body twice a week and lower body twice or thrice a week. Higher training frequency helps muscles grow better than training a body part once a week. Two heavy days for each, and at least one day of super-setting and/or higher reps until failure for a good pump on each half of my body.

I'm trying out a cheap bottle of raspberry ketones to possibly aid with fat loss. It's only a supplement and it supposedly helps with lypolisis. We'll see. May purchase a thermogenic fat burner soon to help with increasing my body temperature. I know I may have to take water pills during the last few weeks of prep.


Nutrition Is Still #1

Training is a breeze compared to the 100% dedication I must commit to my nutrition:

I've stopped eating dairy. I love dairy products - cheese, milk, etc. I've even cut out cottage cheese, my favorite. The reason why is because I am moderately lactose intolerant, but the effects are most apparent with actual cow's milk more than it is with cheeses. My stomach gets upset and my body bloats for a day or two when I ingest anything dairy.

I have made a grocery list of foods that I eat on a regular basis, and I will be sticking with that list (with minor adjustments here and there) for the next 10 weeks. It is so much easier to track everything when you eat the same things all the time.

I will be adding more lean protein and cutting out certain fatty meats out of my contest diet, just so I can personally control my fat intake on a given day. I'm still eating bacon and sausages and whole eggs especially on ULC days. On a carb back-load day, I will be eating much less fat so I can appropriately fit in carbs into my macros post-workout, and so no excess of fat can slow down the much needed insulin spike in my body to the high-glycemic carbs.

I don't know if I've mentioned, but my carbs have gone from ~200g a day to now around 100-164g. I might have to cut out the banana (or just halve the serving) in my post-workout protein fluff just so my actual dinner/meals can be more fulfilling. Nothing wrong with getting more real food in the diet.

I've started drinking more coffee in the morning. I might have to start cutting out the Splenda soon, or at least just cutting back to 1 packet per day.

The cleaner and more whole foods I eat during this prep, the better off my body is. It won't be reacting with bloat or other unnecessary digestive issues to dairy or gluten or artificial sweeteners.

Still ingesting whey post-workout as it responds very quickly to my sore muscles. It is critical I preserve the muscle mass I've accumulated during this fat-loss phase.


The Levels Are Getting Harder

Things in life, as with prep, are continuing to increase in difficulty. They are in line with one another. It seems like this is the part with the steepest climb, and the higher I climb, the harder each step gets. Everything is trying to resist change.

Issues with debts, jobs, responsiblities, money, family and friends seem to be on the climb. I continue to hold my head up nonetheless. I will stay strong as I have no other choice - giving up in any area of life is not an option. And that is probably what I love about this whole challenge - that it helps me develop thick skin and strong mental and emotional skills that cannot be acquired by sitting around and not accepting/confronting change.

As the cliche goes, the only constant in life is change. And I am mutable, so I will just face whatever challenge I'm met with. Crying and falling and getting hurt is acceptable, but giving up is not.

Just gotta keep swimmin'.

11 Weeks Out | Being Bad, Freaking Out

Really need to start taking progress pictures in better lighting conditions..

I have 11 weeks left - actually, less now that it's Tuesday - to go from 118 to a lean, cut 108-110.

And after yesterday's Leg Day #1, I'm pretty sure I blew past my caloric allowance for the day with all the sushi I devoured at Sushi Station. To put things in perspective, my pile of plates matched my sister's pile and my boyfriend's pile - put together.

To say that I was crawling on all fours would be no mere figurative statement.


Eating Less

I find that having to eat at a caloric deficit is much more challenging than training 5-6 days a week or daily (and precise) nutrient timing. I'm used to eating at or above maintenance levels. I cannot express enough how much I love food - hell, I am excited for this contest prep to be over for the sole purpose of being able to eat substantially more, and building more muscle in the process.

Therein lies the challenge. Usually women think they need to eat only 1000 calories or less a day to lose weight, but my body hates that. It shuts down all prospects of fat loss and completely stalls. Still, my deficit is still very apparent, despite it being a gradual thing.

To lose a pound a week, I have to intake an average of 1436-1521 calories daily. My maintenance calories (to stay the same weight) would be around 1937-2028 calories. Per week I should be losing about .8-1 lb body fat. Sounds easy and concrete on paper, but real life is a very different story.

I do wanna get it out of people's heads that just because I'm eating at a deficit, does not mean I'm starving myself or that I'm slowly killing myself. In fact, my calorie allowance being less means I have to pick foods that are superior in quality and macronutrients, and are dense for health and fullness. That means significantly more veggies for fullness, fiber, and added benefits without the extra calories. That also means being picky with the carbs I eat.

Lots more meat, high amounts of fat on low-carb days, and low-fat everything pretty much on a day I get to carb back-load. There is a fine balance and trade-off with each day. On ultra-low carb days, I get to enjoy chorizo and sausages and eggs fried in butter with bacon. On back-load days, while I need to watch for the fat content, I get to eat rice or sweet potatoes and raspberry kolackys, and end the night with some cookie dough ice cream (which has become my standard CBL routine these days). Besides, only having all carbs and fat in one meal/sitting - while that sounds really tasty - is just a bad idea.

Believe it or not, I'm still eating this.. for now.

Trying To Get It Right

I might have been bad on Monday, but it was heavy duty leg day. It is so heavy volume and intense that I do not do cardio or train any other body part on those days. And was it really "bad," if I needed to eat high-glycemic carbs post-workout anyway? At least my quads, glutes, hamstrings and calves got some nice juice yesterday.

How am I supposed to behave when this is staring me in the face?!

If I'm remorseful - which I kinda am - I will just make up for it with additional cardio. Today's session will be HIIT and upper body with a focus on back. I'll probably do an extra HIIT session this week, maybe on Thursday and another one Friday and Saturday even. I only planned for 3 sessions, but I did eat all that sushi and my current focus is fat loss and not building. I'm probably gonna hate it, but oh well.

Water-loading is really inconvenient. 2 gallons of water a day is what I'm aiming for. It's great that I'm getting very hydrated and all, but all these trips to the bathroom is getting pretty ridiculous. Maybe I will play with water/carb manipulation this week, to see how it works and looks on my body. I don't really have to do it until Peak Week (which will be the week leading up to the show) but I am planning a beach outing in a few days, so what better reason to practice than for bikini season.

And if I go to the beach this week, it will be the first day I debut on the beach in a real bikini. No big t-shirts, no hideous cover-ups. I will have to fight the urge to cover up. Even though I've worked so hard these past few months and have felt so good about myself, a big part of me is still horrendously worried. It hasn't been turned off yet, and has had no challenge.. until now. I will probably wear something pretty over it while I'm on my way there for modesty's sake, but I really need to step out of my damn comfort zone and get over this whole bikini body issue once and for all. I'm done being an envious, depressed worrywart in the beach. It's time I enjoy the summer and feel comfortable in my own skin.

I'm still shaking at the thought, though.


Still..

To be honest, I am worried. I'm wondering if I can lean down by the show. I've never been stage-ready lean before, and I'm doing this all on my own. I've stated these worries numerous times before, but now I'm 11 weeks out. The gravity of the situation has shifted dramatically. In just a few weeks, I will be in the single-digit week countdown.

I'm also worried about all the things I have to arrange and purchase for this day. The first thing on the list is the tan. I've always hated getting a tan, let alone the process of it - I always get sunburned first - and I used to avoid it at all costs, thanks to the help of SPF100 sunscreen. Now, I HAVE to shift my attitude. I HAVE to get a good base tan in. Luckily for me now, a big part of me has grown really curious regarding how my body & face will look with a real tan, because now I have muscle that just might show well. I just hate lines.

I have been contemplating getting a spray tan - because F**K the bed, I'm not getting cancer - before I actually go out this weekend. I don't wanna be uneven, especially if I have to compete in a bikini smaller than my real one in August. Yet another new experience for me.

Money is always an issue and I just have to start purchasing things slowly and checking off the list to make sure I don't miss a thing. The next on the list would have to be those stripper- I mean, clear heels. Because I need to practice posing 8 weeks out. This is another story, seeing as I'm a nervous wreck and I have to watch countless videos to teach myself how to have good stage presence and nail the posing down for a good Bikini Athlete. BAH!

To be honest, working out and eating is easy, compared to the stress and anxiety all this other prep is giving me.

"Be Patient, Be Consistent, Just Relax" is a mantra I'm gonna have to start taping to my forehead and scribbling all over my arms and legs really soon.

12 Weeks Out | Official Prep

It's official - I'm dieting down for the 2013 INBA Natural Universe this August - to get in the best, stage-ready shape of my life.

No pressure at all!

With that said, I just want to share a few of many, many feelings I have regarding this upcoming show. The caffeine I've reintroduced into my system is definitely kicking in now - or is it all the adrenaline from thinking about the contest?


22-13 Weeks Out, Beyond Physical Transformation

I would like to share that at this stage of my physical transformation, I am actually pretty happy with where I am. While I'm not complacent, and I know I have a lot more improvements to make, I have never been this happy in my own skin until now. I wanna say, I've been feeling pretty comfortable and happy in my own skin for a good 2 months now.

What I'm trying to say is, while I know I have much more work to do, this journey has really developed the me inside, in ways I could never imagine especially when this year just began.

This is the thing that surprises me the most. Not too long ago, I was out-of-shape and not very strong - physically, or psychologically. My self esteem mirrored all aspects of my health, to be honest I did not find that person fun or pleasant to be around at all. I was constantly nitpicking all the flaws I had and feeling dejected that I couldn't change them.

Nowadays, since I've picked up the iron as a habit, and since I've started eating properly and carefully listening to my body's needs (as if my body was a temple), it feels as if the mere but challenging act of shaping and growing my muscles has somehow also translated into shaping and growing myself within. It's overwhelming, actually. I've never felt this good before. It's actually pretty scary!

It translates physiologically as well as emotionally. My hear pumps faster and faster these days. I can no longer contain my excitement about things. I want to hug and kiss all my friends and loved ones and connect with them enthusiastically, as opposed to my former, very shut-in self that was afraid of human physical contact. I don't mind talking to strangers anymore - in fact, I get excited about what I may learn from them. I have this overwhelming urge to share the love I feel inside. [It sounds like I've lost my marbles, or ingested some ecstasy.. I can assure you I haven't.] The most frightening thing is that there is so much life wanting to burst out of me, and I don't believe even my insecurities and hang-ups can contain the life growing in me anymore. This side effect is something I definitely did not see coming when I made my New Year's Resolution this January.

Since January, I made the vow and promise to myself to finally get in amazing shape. I've wanted this since I could remember - well, since my growth spurt occurred. If you knew me personally, you might wonder, what growth spurt? Exactly.

My quads are looking pretty athletic and - well, kick-ass.

I lost a decent amount of body fat since then and gained some muscle mass. My weight loss is not drastic, because it does not need to be. At this halfway point, I can say that I'm pretty happy with the results I've achieved through hard work and dedication. This body I'm in right now is something I can be proud of, for all that is has been capable of doing for me. Most of all, I've strengthened not just my body but my mind and soul as well.


What's To Come

I'm going to focus on shedding the last pounds of body fat for the next 12 weeks. I am also going to keep making gains all over my body.

I am going to be eating less (but not by much), I'm going to be in a ketogenic state more often than not. I'm gonna do more HIIT cardio, walking, and plyometrics to encourage my body to burn its own fat.

I'm going to make sure that carbs are strictly for post-workout during these next 12 weeks, as difficult as that may be. But, I am going to be grateful for and enjoy every bite of carb that I am allowed within my macro numbers to enjoy. Even a cup of ice cream in one night is going to be the most amazing experience ever.

I'm going to tackle everday as a fresh start and meet my goals for each day. I'm going to be drinking 1-2 gallons of water and going to the bathroom a lot to flush the water out of my system.

I'm going to hit every macro goal with gusto. I'm going to focus on staying healthy and leaning down gradually, and I'm going to avoid crash-dieting of any sort.

I'm going to attempt to stress out as little as possible during such a stressful preparation for this very foreign and intimidating event. I'm going to make sleep a priority.

I'm going to train hard and eat right daily, but I'm also going to enjoy life with my friends, family and loved ones to the best of my abilities.

I'm probably going to have bad days, sad days, and even days where I feel no motivation whatsoever.. but I'm going to continue and go to the gym every day.

I'm going to hold my head high every day, and grit my teeth and bear the pain if the day should prove difficult and cruel.

And you know what? No matter what happens, I'm going to step on that stage to bring a package that I'm proud of, inside and out.

Flexibility: Fitting Prep With Life

Contest prep starting this Sunday 6/9 is going to have to be strict. In numbers and in intensity. For fat loss to happen, I need to do things right - which means lots of planning.

I'm glad to say that at this point in my fitness journey, I'm not completely clueless about what to do with my contest prep - I can only hope that what I plan is actually going to work.

Like I always say, "Be patient. Be Consistent. Just Relax." Always needing to remind myself.

This week (at 13 weeks out from the INBA) is my transition week. I've reduced calories (gradually) and I'm trying to get used to monitoring my caloric intake daily on MyFitnessPal.

I've taken my life and the hectic nature of it, and its inhabitants, into careful consideration: While everything on the list must be checked off, and every number met and not exceeded, I have created a plan that allows for every week's goals to be completed with flexibility.

How am I doing this?


Setting A Weekly Calorie Goal

I am monitoring my caloric intake for each week - which means I allot myself a number I must meet by the end of each week (my example: Saturday nights).

Setting a weekly calorie goal - as opposed to a strict daily goal - allows me to eat according to training intensity as well as rest/light days. It also prevents me from getting stressed if I go over my calories, let's say, post-resistance training. I am satisfied whether it is a rest/cardio day or a training day.

My personal daily caloric intake, for example, must approximately be 1550/day for fat loss to occur.  That makes a total of 10,850 for the whole week. As long as I meet 10,850 by Saturday, I'm good.


Carb Back-Loading

I'm still carb-back loading, just on a smaller scale - seeing as I am afraid to stall on progress by switching to Carb Nite and cutting carbs out 6x/week. Disclaimer: This is my personal experience, Carb Nite works wonders for a lot of people, especially those with higher body fat percentages. Maybe someday down the line I'll try it, but I've learned time and time again that my body likes to cycle carbs. I did Carb Nite for 3 weeks, but I've been carb back-loading since February, and it's now June and my results have been stellar.

I will be staggering ULC & back-load days so it's on/off/on/off from carbs. My carb back-loads will just fit my macros so I'm still within the fat loss guidelines I've set for myself, and will be taking place only on post-training days. Which means...


Training & Cardio

I also will be alternating my days between training and cardio - for now. Weight day, cardio, repeat. I do not like doing this for some strange psychological reason, but I need to give my body proper rest because I will be increasing the frequency of training for each body part.

The glutes and legs part is already covered - I already train them multiple times a week. I will be training my arms, shoulders, and back twice each per week at varying intensities. So a lot of my training days are going to consist of as many compound moves as possible so I am hitting multiple muscles simultaneously, and not spending hours and hours in the gym.

The reason for the increase in frequency is because frequency is a key component for muscle growth, not just volume alone. The more it's used, the more the muscle will grow. With adequate rest periods in between sessions, of course.

Work hard, but more importantly, work smart.

I will be re-adding HIIT into my routine as well. I cycled off it for two weeks now, to give my body some rest from the high-intensity workouts. It will either be in the form of sprints, Tabata, plyo, or other made-up circuits I wish to do.


Flexibility

The most important component to my success (besides commitment & consistency) with this 12-week prep is this very concept.

Everything needs to be done, but when it gets done is something I've let be the variable. Life throws so much at us that it's rare to set a solid, unyielding plan for a week and not have something try to get in the way of its completion.

Scenarios? If friends want me to come over and have a fiesta one day, I will plan a heavy training session before I go to the party so I can eat carbs. If, for some reason, I can't make it to the gym that day, or I absolutely cannot work out that day, then I will consider it a rest day and adjust my intake for that day. If for some reason I cannot go to the gym for a couple days in a row (as was the case this week) I will plan a lot of compound moves and high-volume exercises on fewer days to make sure I train every part of my body adequately, and meet the intensity I need. If I eat too much one day, I can scale it back the next day and it will even out. If I eat too much for the week, I can add an extra session of cardio or do more sets/reps in my next training day.

The goals are pretty much set on a weekly basis, and must be met by the end of each week.


I have prepared for life to throw my plans for prep out of balance. This adaptable plan will hopefully get my to my contest goals. I gotta peace out though, but this is pretty much what the next 12 weeks are gonna look like.

My ultimate goal is to minimize the risk of insanity and burn-out as much as possible, all while promoting a healthier life and a better, stronger, sexier body and outlook on life!

Remember people, there is only one you, take care of it!

13 Weeks Out | Commencement

It is here. It is getting really close to the dieting portion of contest prep - or as I'd prefer to call it, fat loss.

I think I've established that I hate the word diet just as much as I hate the word tone. For example, this has to be the most ear-scratching sentence in my book:

"I really like, need to go on a 1000-calorie diet because I'm like, soooo out of shape, but I only wanna do cardio and NOT lift weights cause I'm not trying to get bulky, I just wanna get toned."

...Need a tissue cause my ears just bled.

I digress. On to the important stuff.


Prepping For Real Prep

I need 12 weeks of fat-loss prep so my leaning down is gradual, and not a complete shock to the system. I am trying to avoid metabolic damage at all costs. I want to be healthy and lean, and look nice and full on the stage, not stringy and burned out and desperate for a cupcake.

I'm prepping for this 12 weeks of possible mental/emotional hell by eating ultra-low carb on days I do not work out. I am staggering my carb back-load nights and eating in congruence with my training intensity for that day (example: Leg day gets much more carbs post-workout).

Ultra-low carb? No problem! Eggs and chorizo it is!

I have also determined my correct macronutrient needs for my personal needs via If It Fits Your Macros, which pretty much promotes "Flexible Dieting." Go to the site for a detailed explanation of the approach. For example, you figure out your numbers via: your height, weight, age, activity/body fat level, and ultimate goals. Eat to make sure you are hitting those numbers daily (protein/fat/carbs), and the food choices are really up to you. Obviously, you'd eat mostly nutritionally dense and healthy food, and a few snacks here and there will not only not kill you, but will help you meet your macro needs for the day.

I'm telling you, IIFYM practitioners.. no matter what eating style they pick (Paleo, Low Carb, Keto, Clean) they get ripped. Your macros are specific to you and your goals. It just works. And the best thing about it is, it works for contest prep. I can do CBL or CN protocols within my own specific macronutrient guideline, to get the best results for me.

I also learned that my body loves cycling carbs on and off by the days. It may be because my body fat is now at around 18-19% (considered fit) instead of the old 30%, or January's 24%, but going ultra-low carb for a week straight just didn't work as well for me. It worked, it was just exponentially slower.

I will still have to do ultra-low carb on more days than back-load days closer to prep for quicker fat shedding. To get contest ready, I'd like to be at around 12-15% (stage-ready lean). I don't really care about the weight as long as I look really good, curvy, lean and tight.


90dayPUSH | My Results

Me beaming with happiness in a dress. Fitness definitely builds confidence!

Since carb back-loading and starting the 90dayPUSH (3 back-to-back 30dayPUSHes), I have managed to make a rather good dent in my formerly stubborn apple-shape stature. Now my waist comes in more, my legs sweep out and in more with strength and femininity, my back is no longer plagued with rolls (the remaining fat is a significant improvement and will be taken care of in the next 12 weeks). I am also just a much happier camper, in my opinion.. and whether I look good or not, I'm really liking just existing right now.

I went from 123.8 lbs to 118 lbs - but the body fat percentage went from 23.8% to 18-19% (it may even be less now). While I weigh only 5.8 lbs less. that's approximately a 7.0444-lb decrease of fat and a 1.424-lb increase in lean body mass.

And the best part is, my stomach no longer looks flabby like it once [always] did. Now, while there remains a lot of work to be done to that area, I can see obliques, and I can definitely feel the muscle rippling beneath. In natural sunlight, one can see the work trying to shine through, beneath my last few remaining layers.

Success? I think so!


Everyone's Graduating (Even My Body!)

It's 13 weeks out and everyone decided to graduate some kind of school, this week. Nevermind that it's the beginning of June.

Sunday, I cleaned.. all. day. And did laundry. And cleaned some more. Did I mention the dishes? They must have respawned in the sink about 3 times. I didn't get to go to bed until past 11.

Yesterday I had to wake up at 5:30 AM for work. One of my most loathed things is having to get up that early. I was not happy about it. Plus, my mother decided not to tell me about my brother's high school graduation ceremony (which was for last night) until yesterday morning! It was an all-day endeavor pretty much, so  I ran straight there after work. Cortisol levels were definitely elevated for me, lemme tell you that. There was also no room for a workout. I didn't get to bed until past 11, again.

Today, my little guy graduates preschool! We both had to get up at 5:30 AM again, each day never becomes easier than the last. They will have a little ceremony at his daycare. I am less stressed about this one. Also, highly doubting I'll be able to fit a workout in today. I cannot keep going to sleep at past 11pm. Less than 7 hours of sleep is not good for someone undergoing contest prep.

Thursday a friend of mine is throwing a graduation party since she just graduated from university. My oh my it doesn't end!!!

This week, I am trying to stay on top of my water intake. It is horribly inconvenient, but necessary. I have to pee every 10 minutes, it seems.

I am also monitoring my caloric intake purely for the sake of fat loss. I am still eating enough protein and fat to fuel my muscles and workouts, but I am eating at a 20% caloric deficit - a gradual, not sudden or damaging, deficit, for an average of 0.8-1 lb fat loss per week. Healthy, and definitely within the accepted 1-2 lb/week rule. The only macro that truly changes is the carbohydrate. My rule of thumb is, if I'm not inducing hypertrophy, I don't need carbs that day. Ultra-low carb. IIFYM & CBL guidelines. I've found combining these really gets me the results I want, while not having to burn myself out.

I plan my workouts every week, but this week I had to write in 3 rest days (due to the fact that I take one every Sunday, but all these graduations leave me no time in the day to sneak a workout in without having to sacrifice sleep). It may become 4 rest days, depending on how Thursday plays out, but that just means I'm going to have to go HARD on every day that I DO hit the weights. So lots of compound moves - squats, deadlifts, pull-ups, upper body work, plyometrics, bench press. Every day I do end up going will just have to be double duty and efficient. I will carb-load on those nights as well. I won't eat as many carbs as I did last few weeks ago, since I'm easing into a caloric deficit that I will be on for the next 12 weeks.

Doing it all this way, believe it or not, is keeping me sane. It's keeping everything in order, statistical, and is preventing me from hurting myself or stressing myself to the point where my efforts are sabotaged. Even though I've never done any of this before, I'd like to do it the smart way, not the hard way.

So far so good. Whatever my actual body composition is, I've never been this happy about my body. Ever. 90 days of PUSH have changed my body's shape, now let's see where another 90 (give or take) days of contest prep will take my physique.



I will make a weekly update based on the weeks out leading to the competition. So stay tuned for Week 12 and other posts I may sprinkle every now and again!