No pressure at all!
With that said, I just want to share a few of many, many feelings I have regarding this upcoming show. The caffeine I've reintroduced into my system is definitely kicking in now - or is it all the adrenaline from thinking about the contest?
22-13 Weeks Out, Beyond Physical Transformation
I would like to share that at this stage of my physical transformation, I am actually pretty happy with where I am. While I'm not complacent, and I know I have a lot more improvements to make, I have never been this happy in my own skin until now. I wanna say, I've been feeling pretty comfortable and happy in my own skin for a good 2 months now.
What I'm trying to say is, while I know I have much more work to do, this journey has really developed the me inside, in ways I could never imagine especially when this year just began.
This is the thing that surprises me the most. Not too long ago, I was out-of-shape and not very strong - physically, or psychologically. My self esteem mirrored all aspects of my health, to be honest I did not find that person fun or pleasant to be around at all. I was constantly nitpicking all the flaws I had and feeling dejected that I couldn't change them.
Nowadays, since I've picked up the iron as a habit, and since I've started eating properly and carefully listening to my body's needs (as if my body was a temple), it feels as if the mere but challenging act of shaping and growing my muscles has somehow also translated into shaping and growing myself within. It's overwhelming, actually. I've never felt this good before. It's actually pretty scary!
It translates physiologically as well as emotionally. My hear pumps faster and faster these days. I can no longer contain my excitement about things. I want to hug and kiss all my friends and loved ones and connect with them enthusiastically, as opposed to my former, very shut-in self that was afraid of human physical contact. I don't mind talking to strangers anymore - in fact, I get excited about what I may learn from them. I have this overwhelming urge to share the love I feel inside. [It sounds like I've lost my marbles, or ingested some ecstasy.. I can assure you I haven't.] The most frightening thing is that there is so much life wanting to burst out of me, and I don't believe even my insecurities and hang-ups can contain the life growing in me anymore. This side effect is something I definitely did not see coming when I made my New Year's Resolution this January.
Since January, I made the vow and promise to myself to finally get in amazing shape. I've wanted this since I could remember - well, since my growth spurt occurred. If you knew me personally, you might wonder, what growth spurt? Exactly.
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| My quads are looking pretty athletic and - well, kick-ass. |
What's To Come
I'm going to focus on shedding the last pounds of body fat for the next 12 weeks. I am also going to keep making gains all over my body.
I am going to be eating less (but not by much), I'm going to be in a ketogenic state more often than not. I'm gonna do more HIIT cardio, walking, and plyometrics to encourage my body to burn its own fat.
I'm going to make sure that carbs are strictly for post-workout during these next 12 weeks, as difficult as that may be. But, I am going to be grateful for and enjoy every bite of carb that I am allowed within my macro numbers to enjoy. Even a cup of ice cream in one night is going to be the most amazing experience ever.
I'm going to tackle everday as a fresh start and meet my goals for each day. I'm going to be drinking 1-2 gallons of water and going to the bathroom a lot to flush the water out of my system.
I'm going to hit every macro goal with gusto. I'm going to focus on staying healthy and leaning down gradually, and I'm going to avoid crash-dieting of any sort.
I'm going to attempt to stress out as little as possible during such a stressful preparation for this very foreign and intimidating event. I'm going to make sleep a priority.
I'm going to train hard and eat right daily, but I'm also going to enjoy life with my friends, family and loved ones to the best of my abilities.
I'm probably going to have bad days, sad days, and even days where I feel no motivation whatsoever.. but I'm going to continue and go to the gym every day.
I'm going to hold my head high every day, and grit my teeth and bear the pain if the day should prove difficult and cruel.
And you know what? No matter what happens, I'm going to step on that stage to bring a package that I'm proud of, inside and out.
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