Tuesday, January 29, 2013

..and I'm back!

I decided since I was out of the gym for all of last week (except Monday) that I would continue on with the LiveFit trainer schedule by simply doing Phase 1 Week 4 this week. This is so that I don't skip any workouts, thus opportunities for muscle growth. I can say happily that the nasty bug that hit me last week is gone now, and it took a much quicker leave than the others. I guess rest really does help.

It was technically not rest though, since I still had a million other things to do, and I still do not get as much sleep as I would really like. But I refrained from further catabolic activities which would have made my body work ten times harder to recover.

I continued with the P90x yoga on Saturday. My 2 friends, who are quickly becoming Saturday fitness buddies, joined me once again. One had to leave early but the other stayed and together we completed the entire DVD. Success! We even got through the gruesome Ab section, which burned our core muscles everywhere, even muscles we didn't know we had. Live for the burn!

And speaking of burn, I resumed my weight training yesterday evening, beginning with lower body. I am not gonna simply call it "legs" anymore.. since I am not working just my legs, and nor was it ever the only focus of my designated leg days. I kept in mind to focus on my form, move slowly and deliberately, and sweat. Yes, sweat. If you aren't breaking a sweat, it isn't challenging you enough. Feel the burn, once again.

Here were last night's lower body exercises:

10 minutes incline warmup on treadmill (w/1 sprint)
Leg extensions 80x10, 80x10, 80x10
Wide stance barbell squat 65x10, 65x10, 65x10
Barbell lunge 50x10, 50x10, 50x10
Single-leg kettlebell deadlift 35x10, 35x10, 35x10
Standard barbell* hip thrust Bar+40x10, Bar+40x10, Bar+40x10
Lying leg curls 40x10, 40x10, 40x10
Hip abductions 120x10, 120x10, 120x10
Standing calf raise 40x10, 40x10, 40x10

I'd like to note a few things:

- I am beginning to warm up/prepare for cardio. It usually makes me nauseous if I just outright jump into it. I'd like to avoid that.

- The weights for my squats increased! I'm very proud. I went deep (bottom almost to floor) without spilling over past my knees. Squat deep and you will definitely feel it working!

- I need to work on balance. My right side is a lot less balanced than my left, is also weaker, and thus has made it difficult (but not impossible) to achieve proper form & balance during my lunges & single-leg deadlifts. (When you're shaking so bad from squats, it doesn't help either.) Also, I tried training my right side first because it needs a lot of work.

- Leg day takes forever, especially during the gym's peak hours. These are days I wish I had a home gym.

I will do 2 more days of exercising this week, compressing into them shoulders, chest, triceps, back, and biceps. My upper body is still the bane of my existence, so it needs major improvement. I will work extra hard and not be afraid of the weights. It will hurt, I will be sore since I have weak areas here, but I must get through the hurdle. The worst will be me saying "ouch" for the next couple of days. But after that, I will heal and be stronger and make progress.

Still eating clean, for the most part. I have discovered a gem, though. During endless searches and reading articles on ketosis and ketogenic diets, I have found John Kiefer's Carb Back Loading and Carb Nite Solution. It promises lean muscle gain, strength gains, as well as rapid fat loss. This is going to be an entirely different post, but I believe with this I will have found a maintainable way of life - not only to fit perfectly with my goals and routines, but also a way to be able to reward myself and reap more benefits. I plan to conduct a month-long experiment to see if it all really works - apparently competitors of all walks of life, even powerlifters, swear by this..

Stay tuned! I'm back!!!!

Friday, January 25, 2013

What happens when I play in the kitchen?

Yummmmmm....

So when I'm forced to stay home, and not train, I play in the kitchen. Don't worry, I'm not contaminating any of my creations with my germs. At least I take major precautions to avoid that happening...

Anyway, last night I made my own homemade almond butter. I got the idea from Detoxinista.com, which is a wonderful blog! I didn't know you could make flour-free pancakes and cookies, and other delectable yummies! Almond butter pancakes, paleo chocolate chip cookies.. I feel like I found a new crevace in food education, it is so amazing! I will definitely learn to make all these things, as well as create my own recipes fit for healthy lifestyles as well as bodybuilders/weight trainers.

Best thing is, I don't have to give up "sweets" after all!! YES!!

That being said, these things are helping me ease my slow transition away from white starches and sugar. The almond butter, by the way, was amazingly delicious, and Kaeden approved! Not to mention it was organic and cheap. I don't even wanna know how much packaged almond butter costs at Whole Foods, but I have a good idea.

All this food research and kitchen testing gets my mental juices flowing.. I am now coming up with my own recipes in my head, and it is frighteningly easy how well I can come up with things and have them work in application [instead of just theory]. My sister insists, since she was 9 years old, that I should just open up my own restaurant already. I'm obsessed with food as it is.

I am planning to share some self-created recipes soon. Stay tuned!! I can't wait - they won't hurt your wallet, or your fitness goals - not to mention they are healthy for you and will make you happy (as delicious things are notorious for doing)! :)

SMALL Hiatus....

I'm so *sick* of getting sick!! This winter has been the worst, what with its unstable, constantly changing severe temperatures. So I'm not going to be training in the gym until I get better. It really sucks.

This is my 4th time getting sick this winter. Last time it was the flu. I don't know what it is this time exactly, but it feels very flu-like. Sneezing, coughing, congestion, body aches, spacey head, lack of appetite, fatigue.. I'm so tired of this crap. But I will listen to my body, I need to have it recover ASAP because this sh*t is really getting in the way of my goals.

I will still maintain clean eating. I will try to get as much sleep as I can possibly get - although, waking up in the middle of the night constantly never helps. And being stationary does not calm my mind very well. I have not completed Phase 1, Week 4 at all except for the leg day. So the next week I can return to the gym, I will complete it. This sets me one week behind. But I am determined to work hard during Phase 2 and 3 and see some discernable results.

When I get my tax return, I will pay off some debts that I have, and I am considering employing a personal trainer in my gym to help me. I know that would defeat the whole purpose of being "self-made," but I am very unguided in all of this. It is not for certain though. I have until August to really get in contest shape, but I am hoping to be in good summer bikini shape by May-June. My nutrition remains a priority for me.

So I'm sorry, I won't be updating much in the way of training. I need this rest. My body and mind are overtaxed. And damn this stupid weather. Damn this stupid "flu season." I will, however, try my best to update on some other fun things besides training, but have to do with overall health, fitness & wellness.

PRAY I recover quickly, I want to hit the weights again soon.

Anyway, here is a current picture of me (progress, but not revealing). Not bad for someone not doing cardio [yet] and for someone that has to sit out of the gym due to a f**king illness:

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Sick again, and struggling

The past few days have been extremely difficult.

I am currently sitting in the office with yet another sore throat this season - thanks, you unyielding, flaky, and harsh winter - and an unpleasant scratchy sensation dwelling in my sinuses. I eat healthily every day and have only had the wedding cheat meal (and two small cookies - one of Kaeden's making, and one my sister offered me) throughout the whole year thus far. I have been going to the gym several days a week.

But I suppose stress and lack of sleep drive all those things out of the water. Quelling one and acquiring more of the other have been equally a struggle for me that after all these years I still have not figured out.

Since writing helps me sort my thoughts, I am hoping this will help me get back on the right track...

I went to the gym Monday, but not yesterday, and I don't feel well enough to go in today. Tomorrow is a different story, I will go for sure. I had a personal trainer at my gym give me a "sample" session and frankly, she kicked my ass. Very well, that is her job, and she did it well. What I did not like was the salesmanship that had to occur at the end of it. I didn't like it for two reasons. One, it is always so full of pressure. Two, it reminds me constantly that I am too broke - for yes, had I the sufficient funds, I would have employed one a long, long time ago, and I would not be on this boat.

But the thing that made me rather upset was that I was practically out of shape, in the cardio sense. I know with this LiveFit Trainer I am following, I am not to do any cardio until the 2nd and 3rd phase. Still, the compound movements combining strength and cardio proved that I was not as strong or in shape as I thought I was. It is discouraging to the point that, in a silly way, my pride is hurt, and it hurts to admit. It made me question if I am doing any of my exercises right.

Then it came to my attention. If I am suffering in form in any of my training sessions, I know the very reason why. And that is precisely the reason I stayed out of the gym yesterday and will be staying out today: lack of sleep.

I cannot emphasize how important adequate rest is. It is not only good for your body, it is healing for the mind as well. And the most major problem I'm having right now is that I've been having increasing difficulty getting proper sleep. There is simply too much to do and worry about, with little or no help from anyone, to forget about it. I either end up losing a lot of time to sleep because of all that I have to do after I come home from work/gym.. and when I do go to to bed early, I am unable to drift off. In both instances, I am angrily tossing and turning, desperate for my eyes to fall shut. It doesn't help that my asshole neighbors decide that 11pm is a wonderfully appropriate time to vacuum their carpets and move heavy furniture across the floors.

I have been very angry, and spiteful, and with no one to advise me or help me put anything into a proper perspective. I'm either at work, being a recluse (because forming authentic, spirited friendships at work is highly discouraged.. while typical, middle-age-drama-sprinkled, backstabbing office politics is the unspoken rule) - or going home, having to do chores.

Just last night, when I planned to have a cozy night in resting and relaxing (as my body so desperately needs), the growing pile(s) of laundry scattered throughout my house called to me. They said, if I don't get them done tonight, they will not get done at all until the end of the week. And frankly, everyone is running out of clean things to wear...

So last night, in my already sleep-deprived, already angry state, I did all of the damned laundry by myself. A month's worth (perhaps), belonging to three people, as well as the towels and linens used around the house. That was really the appropriate time to exclaim the phrase F*CK MY LIFE!, but I chose not to for the sake of my son's ears. I worked from the time I got home, to the time I involuntarily passed out on my couch, amidst piles of unfolded laundry. This doesn't even include all the cooking and cleaning I did, on top of trying to keep my son from destroying things around the house.

I barely notice changes in my body these days. Maybe I'm hitting a plateau already? My stomach still looks like I just gave birth last week. I absolutely cannot get used to it.

How am I to complete my journey? How am I to reach the little goals I have set for myself, when I can barely sleep at night? And now, due to exorbitant amounts of stress, I am sick again. Does it even matter? Am I too selfish for wanting to be fit and healthy? As the personal trainer told me, my family has a long and poor health history, and I would be following the same path if I didn't choose the lifestyle I'm trying to adopt right now.
But it's hard. It's hard to feel alone, and have absolutely no time (not even to seek out some companionship or get a catnap in).

It's hard to recall that I had such an upbeat attitude to this. The bitterness, the sickness, the exhaustion, the overwhelming number of responsibilities I have, are beginning to consume me.

It's hard, even though I remind myself not to be too rough or judgmental on myself. I remind myself (even if I fear my past enemies would not have me believe it) that I'm only human and it is normal for me to fall into despair in times like these. I remind myself not to let it consume me, because lately I tinker with the thought of giving up.

But I'm still going to the gym tomorrow. And I'm going to make sure my forms are perfect. Just gotta get through this week, and next week, may the fat-blasting begin. I don't want to give up, not so early into the game especially.

But it's difficult when I feel utterly alone.

At least I have Kaeden to cuddle (even in 30-second increments), talk to, and read to at night. These things have been my only comforts as of late.

Monday, January 21, 2013

Nearing the end of Phase 1..

It is frightening! Today, on Misanthropy Monday (as I like to call Mondays), begins Week 4, and the last week, of Phase 1. I can't believe I have come this far with only 1 cheat meal, and all this training. Somehow I am baffled at how I was able to do everything and still find time to train. I really need to do laundry tonight, even if I'll be doing it all by myself...

I took some progress photos, though I'm still too timid to post them. My upper body still leaves a lot to be desired. My body likes to store fat on the arms, back, and midsection.. it's super unflattering, but I guess I will have do lots of high-intensity cardio to banish those grody areas. So, while the lower body is responding well to the weights, my upper body is going to need a lot of work in the upcoming months. Diet and nutrition will have to be on-point for this to work.

I got an assessment done by a personal trainer on Friday. My body weight went from 123.8 to 121.8. My body fat went from 25% to 23.7%. Considering I haven't even completed a month yet, it is good slow progress. I have yet to see drastic results but again, I must remind myself to be patient and consistent.

I will go now and try to endure the rest of this Misanthropy Monday. The day already started on a bad note. Today after work I will work my Legs to the best of my ability, and try to tackle the horrendous pile growing in my house that is called "laundry."

Week 3: Legs

This is going to be quick, as I have little time today.

I had a cheat meal (the first one of the year) on Saturday. The reason being, I attended a wedding. I still managed to eat plenty of protein and vegetables, but the cheat part was the fettucine alfredo for my starches. Oh dear goodness, was it delicious. I guess since I am 7-8 months away from competition, and seeing as it was a wedding, I could allow myself some indulgence. I did not go over my total caloric intake for the day, though. I did a lot of walking, standing, and ridiculous dancing. And I avoided the cake.

Saturday and Sunday were technically rest days, I did no weight training. Saturday was yoga with the buddies, though. We only have 15 more minutes to complete on the P90X DVD. I have noticed that all of us are getting stronger as the weeks pass, and we delve into the more difficult poses. Sunday, I slept. Boy, did I need the rest. It was hardly rest though because there was so much to do still, like get hair cuts for everyone and drive around doing things. Ugh.

Friday I did my Leg day with Kaeden as a wonderful assistant. The kid's daycare at the gym closes at 2 on Fridays, apparently (?!). Even with his 45-50 pounds of boy, the workouts are beginning to get easy, so Week 4 I will push the numbers up a few notches. I also added a new routine which I love.. Single Leg Deadlifts. I used a weighted tool kit for the resistance, because it's hard to dead-lift a squirmy child. Oh boy, did that kick my ass (in a good way). I can lift heavier weight for it though. And when I was through with all of the sets, I noticed instant results. Much curvier in the back, to put it nicely.

{Note: "Barbell," in this case, was Kaeden instead of an Olympic bar + weights}

Wide stance barbell squats 50x10, 50x10, 50x10
Walking barbell lunge 50x10, 50x10, 50x10
Single-leg deadlift 20x20, 20x20, 20x20
Seated calf raise (w/Kaeden) 50x20, 50x20, 50x20
Standing calf raise 3-20
Lying hip abductions 3-20
Hip thrusts 50x10, 50x10, 50x10
Glute bridges 3-20

Thursday, January 17, 2013

Week 3: Back/Biceps, Shoulders/Triceps/Chest/Abs

I apologize for the lack of updating these past few days. I'm not kidding at all when I said my life was hectic - it never ends! As it is, I'm barely able to squeeze time to update this darned thing! I really don't know how I'm doing all this, I feel barely awake [alive]...

I work a full-time job. I am a mother. I have an apartment to maintain upkeep and cleanliness in (my boyfriend has been either working or teaching classes and he's barely ever home anymore). I have to spend quality time with my son. At the same time, I am somehow training an hour or two each day, driving back & forth EVERYWHERE (grr do I hate this!! I wish I could just teleport!!) then getting home and cooking for 2-3 hours, and I have to do all the dishes then, somehow keep my son happy, fed and clean amidst all this..

I only get to relax at the end of the day, once I go to bed - and even lately, I have not been sleeping very well. I am tossing and turning for hours, and only end up getting 4-5 hours a night for 3-4 days now. Last night, as I was about to fall asleep, I got the damn hiccups. I got so bloody frustrated, I stormed out of bed, angry. Tsk, tsk. So today, on this magnigicently cold Thursday, I am going to actually STAY IN and get some MUCH NEEDED REST. My muscles cannot grow without adequate rest or sleep. I am going to enjoy being home a few hours from now. Besides, I really don't wanna burn out.


At least I am developing into a more organized person. Something gets done every day. And now, I have come up with a good system to keep track of my workouts, and prepare the ones I need to do in the weeks ahead.

And Kaeden and I still get to have fun together... just yesterday I stopped to take him to Culver's to get his favorite scoop of vanilla custard and M&M's. It made me very happy just to see him happy, and we talked for about half an hour about god knows what. I taped it, maybe I will post it here someday. :)

Tuesday I completed my BACK & BICEP workouts. They are listed below:

Hammer strength lat pulls 30x10, 30x10, 25x10 (weights on each side)
Wide grip lat pulldowns 60x10, 60x10, 60x10
Seated narrow grip cable rows 40x10, 40x10, 40x10
Bent-over barbell rows 55X10, 55X10, 55X10
Dumbbell curls 15x4, 15x4, 15x4 (weights on each side)

Wednesday I did some SHOULDERS, ABS, CHEST & TRICEPS.
I combined 2 days into 1, see below:

Seated dumbbell press 10x10, 10x10, 10x10
Dumbbell front raise 10x10, 10x10, 10x10
Dumbbell lateral raise 10x10, 10x10, 10x10
Oblique crunches & 10-second plank (supersetted) 3-10
Bench press 45x8, 45x10x 45x10
Chest flyes 15x7, 15x8, 15x8 (weights on each side)
Overhead tricep extensions 15x10, 20x8, 20x8

I am not particularly proud of only using 10-lbs to work my shoulders. I can normally do around 12-15. However, I have been particularly sore and exhausted this week, with little sleep. I also am under the assumption that some of my form is suffering because of this exhaustion. I really need to catch up on rest once again so that I can bounch back full-force next week for Phase 1's final week.

(Wow I've almost completed an entire month of weight training and clean eating!)

I have one more day to do this week, and I'm choosing to do Legs/Glutes/Hips again. That will be tomorrow. A personal trainer in my gym insists on training with me tomorrow, I wonder how she will react when she finds I'm not exactly a newbie at this kind of thing.. especially since Leg day is my heaviest day. Oh well, she better not talk down at me is all :P

My friends want to get together for yoga on Saturday again. I'm excited for that too, because yoga is helping me stretch my torn up muscles, and is helping me regain my old flexibility, and possibly other things that I'm not yet aware of.

By heaven, I'm so ready for bed. x_x