It's Monday morning, and I'm already stressed.
I'm officially 20 weeks out from competition. I'm currently using Carb Nite to lose body fat since I am around 20-22%, from the last time I was checked - which was most likely horribly inaccurate, given the circumstances (measurement was taken at 4pm, after I had a half a day of loading up on water and food). Carb Nite is not optimal for gaining muscle, which is the only thing I do not like about it.
I'm definitely leaning down, and I notice it in the way that my wardrobe no longer fits the way it once did. However, I'm finding that I don't like what I see in the mirror:
1. My lower stomach fat is still present. It's really a combo of fat & skin from the pregnancy.. which was almost 5 years ago. This is how stubborn my genetics are, though, and I see it in all the women in my family. This is just a matter of patience, though, since a lot of me is starting to lean out already.
2. The lack of curves is disturbing. Now, this may just be a subjective thing.. My opinion is not objective at all, no matter how much I try. Things are not popping as they should. And to achieve those curves, I really need to build muscle in the lacking areas.
See the dilemma?
I'm 20 weeks out, and I'm pretty nervous. I find that I need to tweak my intake more, and adjust things for better results. 20 weeks for someone that's never competed is such a short amount of time, and it doesn't help that my gym gives me really bad body fat percentage readings that worry me into thinking I haven't been making any progress since training and dieting in January.
Training doesn't scare me. I know what I need to do to build muscle and strength, and improve as the weeks ago.. and also adjust accordingly if I'm feeling weak on a particular day. Heavy weight, volume, and intensity do not frighten me..
It's the diet. My body has never been in such good shape as I want it to be in 20 weeks. I don't know what's really under the body fat, if I have enough muscle or not to look good on stage. To me, it seems like my body does not want to let go of anymore fat at all. And I need that fat gone to see if I need to add more muscle to various parts of my body.
A lot of contest training and diet is aesthetically oriented. I just know that post-competition, I would not be stressing out about ANY of this, at all! I plan to CBL for life, keep growing muscles and gaining strength, eating healthy AND delicious foods, and be happy. I'd know to eat carbs post-workout, have whatever everybody else is having for dinner, get to have some wine or beer on those special occasions, and just train and eat to be healthy.. NOT to be aesthetically pleasing on stage.
However, this is not real life, this is prep. I have 20 weeks, which means I really don't have any room to play around or mess up. The worst part about the diet aspect of pre-contest is, that it will never be the same for everybody, so it's not like I can just go and ask someone for advice, especially since what works for them, will most likely not work for me.
I'm worrying myself too much today and can't focus on much else. I haven't gotten anything done. I feel like I'm obsessing. I have come to expect that days like this will happen during contest prep.. however, I can never get prepared for how crappy I will actually feel.
It doesn't help that I just had my Carb Nite yesterday, and I was literally debilitated from the volume of food I had. Round one, I had some sushi and a lemon bar to start, which were delicious. I tried to eat slowly, and at this phase I was feeling pretty good. The rest of the night, I felt impregnated with carbs. It was difficult to move. Next Carb Nite, I am going to definitely cut things back a notch or two.
I keep wondering if I should do 4-6 weeks of carb back-loading to build some muscle, and seriously wondering if that will set me back in my goals. Carb back-loading is designed so that you don't gain any fat while building muscle. The problem I'm having is 1) will 6-8 weeks be even enough time to get some good mass in certain problem spots, and 2) will the next 12-14 weeks be enough time to diet down to a certain body fat percentage?
It's days like this that make me wish I could afford to hire a coach, and not just any competition coach - but one that will implement Kiefer's dietary protocols along with my training. Hell, even Kiefer himself. Every trainer I've run into here tries to convince me to eat breakfast and go low-glycemic, whole grain and low-fat. Egg whites and oatmeal, and dry meat. I know from experience, that none of these work for me at all. I gain fat, get bloated, and crash in the middle of the day. There is little to no progress with me in the traditional contest diet. Sorry, but my body really does not respond too well to it.
I'm going to train heavy this week, this 20 weeks out, and do HIIT accordingly, to purge the glycogen stores I filled up from yesterday's Carb Nite. Heavy and crushing until I feel absolutely depleted by day 6 or 7.
Then, on Sunday, I'll decide on whether should make that Carb Nite into a Back-Load, then just back-load on nights prior to training, for maybe 6-8 weeks. We shall see how my body changes during those weeks.. I am definitely going for MORE CURVES. On 13 weeks out, though, I will switch back to Carb Nite, add a ripe banana post-workout, and just adjust as the weeks go down and maybe cut out the banana and dairy 6-8 weeks out.
We will see, but I won't make any concrete decisions right now, seeing as I'm frazzled as all hell.
I'll train after work, heavy duty glutes, legs, and core. I'll implement the post-workout carb today to see how my body responds to that. Take the progress pictures so I can monitor the changes. I feel like a lab rat.
Ugh, I am stressed. F**k you competition prep. :(
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